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Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray

Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray

It started simple enough. I wanted to explain to a friend who was struggling how there were different kinds of love. The problem is that I couldn't figure out how to get to the right words. I knew that there were different kinds and different expressions...
The Available Parent: Expert Advice for Raising Successful, Resilient, and Connected Teens and Tweens

The Available Parent: Expert Advice for Raising Successful, Resilient, and Connected Teens and Tweens

If you want to get into a real conversation with someone, talk to them about their teenage children. Move past the pleasantries of “they’re fine”. Leap over their accomplishments. Dwell for a bit on how the parent struggles with what their child is do...
Divorce: Causes and Consequences

Divorce: Causes and Consequences

God hates divorce. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for interpretation. The state assumes that stable marriages are in the best interest of the state itself. Despite this the average marriage lasts only seven years and the divorce rate has impacted 4...
Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them

Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them

Coming by estrangement in your family honestly doesn't make it feel better. Knowing you're not alone in the struggle doesn't resolve the pain of broken relationships. However, the more you know about estrangement, the more you can come to terms with it....
The Four Loves

The Four Loves

I’ve for some time recognized the three words in Greek used to describe love – eros , philos , and agape . C.S. Lewis’ count of The Four Loves , therefore, was interesting and confusing. Effectively to the three above, Lewis adds storge , which is s...
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Anyone who has a teenager knows that they speak a different language. In fact, they often seem like they’re a different species all together. They don’t seem to act like their younger versions of themselves – and you wonder how they’ll survive to be o...
Intimacy Anorexia: The Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage

Intimacy Anorexia: The Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage

It’s been years since I read Intimacy Anorexia . It fell into my standard note taking pattern but I suppressed the process of writing the book review on it because it was too close and too personal. I wasn’t able to be objective about the content beca...
The New Peoplemaking

The New Peoplemaking

I picked up The New Peoplemaking not because I wanted to continue delving into family systems but instead because that Virginia Satir's work is often used as a model for change. I have no problems with the fact that her change theories were based on...
No Two Alike: Human Nature and Human Individuality

No Two Alike: Human Nature and Human Individuality

“Why am I me?” is an important – and unanswered – question that George Dyson asked his father, Freeman Dyson, at age 8. It’s at the heart of Judith Rich Harris’ work in No Two Alike: Human Nature and Human Individuality . It’s the essence of the tension...
The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do – Candidates and Effects

The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do – Candidates and Effects

In the previous post , I addressed the foundation of The Nurture Assumption , Judith Rich Harris’ challenge to the assumption that how we nurture our children has an impact on their outcomes in life. She has broken the causal arrow from a parent’s nurtu...
The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do – The Basics

The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do – The Basics

When you look at another family (probably on Facebook) and think “they’ve got it together,” do you think that they “come from good stock,” or are you impressed with the matriarch and patriarch’s ability to nurture their children? Would it surprise yo...
Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis

Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis

My children haven’t seen Back to the Future . They’ve not seen the idealistic view of the 1950s portrayed in a movie from the 1980s. They don’t understand what it was like when I was growing up when we walked down to the park to play, rode our bikes ...
Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children

Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children

Reading a child rearing book originally written in the late 60s and published in 1970 seems like a departure from my reading list. I don’t typically read child rearing books for good reason. I disagree with quite a bit of what is written. Thomas Gordon’s boo...
Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood

Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood

It’s been several weeks now since I got to attend a knighting ceremony. The queen wasn’t present and I wasn’t in a castle. It was my friend who was knighting his son. This ceremony and symbolic act of recognizing him as a man I would find out later from ...
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

I don’t know anyone who has ever lived that has described relationships as easy. Rewarding, absolutely. However, I don’t know anyone who has said that relationships – good relationships – are easy. Relationships are necessarily difficult, messy, dynamic...
Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys

Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys

Raising all kids today is hard. Since I’ve only attempted to raise kids in today’s environment, I can’t comment about whether it’s harder or easier than previous generations. I can say that the grandparents I talk to tell me that they believe it’s ha...
The Years That Matter Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us

The Years That Matter Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us

Inflection points matter. They’re the one time when a left turn really matters from a right turn. Paul Tough’s thesis is that “mobility in the United States today depends in large part on what happens to individuals during a relatively period in late ...